Backstage at the Calamity, Vol. I No. V: Two Serials, the Warlock Queen, and the Groundskeeper Part V

Table of Contents

• What the F*CK did I Work On This Week?

  • The Groundskeeper (progress)

  • Vampire’s Vengeance

  • Unholy Requiem

  • Showdown at Sunrise

  • The Warlock Queen

• The Groundskeeper

• What’s Published and Where You Can Find It

  • Odds ‘n’ Endings Stories

• Postscript

• Acknowledgements

What the F*CK did I Work On This Week?

Writing serials is no simple matter. I am focused on releasing a new chapter every week, and that means having the next chapter ready to go well before it is set to be published here. Thus …

The Groundskeeper (progress)

Due to illness, I had fallen behind on the lead I carried for this series. This week, I gained a little ground. I am one chapter ahead with a clear path forward. I hope you’re enjoying the story so far, and are sitting on the edges of your seats awaiting what comes next with excitement.

Vampire’s Vengeance

This serial will replace The Groundskeeper upon its completion. As such, I have written chapter 6 and am thoroughly excited to share this story with you all when the time is ripe for sharing. Obviously, this will be when The Groundskeeper ends. If you’re curious, it means you ought to stick around.

Unholy Requiem

An entire chapter has been reviewed, bringing this vampire origin story closer to completion. There is yet much that needs doing before this sees the light of day. However, this is coming to fruition slowly but surely. Perhaps we will see its publication at the close of Vampire’s Vengeance. Perhaps sooner. Perhaps later. Who the fuck knows.

Showdown at Sunrise

I am moving forward with this story. Notwithstanding the feedback I have patiently awaited, my patience has run dry. This story needs to be shared, and shared will it be. Expect its publication in the coming weeks.

The Warlock Queen

This is not quite a short story. It is not quite a novella. It is somewhere in between, and due to the heavy themes it carries, may take as long as a book to be well edited, revised, and brought ready for release. Given this, more work has been done, and little by little, this story too shall soon see the light of day. Be patient, my lovelies, it’s coming.

And now, without further ado, I present to you the next chapter of …

The Groundskeeper

First time tuning in? Start here.

This is continued from Part IV, here.

What, in the ever-loving fuck, did I sign up for?

The sounds careen all around me, and then just stop. One moment it's noisy as hell—literally, as if I was standing in hell and that's what hell sounds like: all the screaming, wailing, moaning, cursing, howling—and the next I'm standing in the employee hall, the lights on, nobody home, like everything is as it was when I first walked in. I'm seriously questioning my own sanity right now.

I love horror films. I fucking love the fuck out of them. This leads me to wonder if I am, perhaps, in a dream of my own making, with horrors spilling into it out of a subconscious I have packed to the brim with as many horrors as I have been able to consume. I pinch myself to check, and sure enough, it hurts like hell.

Goddammit. I really didn't need to pinch myself that hard.

I head down the hall and duck in to a restroom to clean the vomit from my shoes. I'm a little bothered by the idea of having to place my feet on the bathroom floor, so I end up balancing on one foot while I clean one shoe, and then the other. This doesn't take me long, but I'm still annoyed at having to do this. Once I finish up, I wash my hands and head to the exit of the hall on one side while rubbing my arm where I pinched it. Apparently this is real life and I still have a job to do and there's no one fucking here to tell me how to do it, so it's up to me to just show the bosses I can do it, despite my apparent descent into madness.

I throw open one of the double doors at the end of the hall and head to the gates at one end of the cemetery. Seems like a good place to start. The checklist specifies the "gates are to remain locked during the entirety of your shift," so I'll just check on them.

A full moon looms overhead. I try not to dwell on any of the numerous associations with the full moon coming to mind as I make my way down the main boulevard. The experience in the hall, the sounds I heard earlier, all of it sits smiling at the back of my mind as so much commentary on my efforts to maintain some semblance of sanity. Whether or not it was all a figment of my imagination doesn't matter. What's happening right this moment is a nice, quiet night, illuminated by the moon's reflection of light from the sun, and I am enjoying a wonderful walk to the border of the cemetery to check on the gates, and I'm being kept company by some shambling figure at the edges of my periphery, and it's all just so splendid.

Continued in Part VI

What’s Published and Where You Can Find It

These are the top stories currently in circulation.

Odds ‘n’ Endings Stories

These stories share a single connective thread through them all: the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique. The Proprietor—a timeless individual of many faces, few scruples, and a whole lot of character—deals in artifacts, each containing peculiar traits. These are the stories of the Boutique’s patrons.

Postscript

Thank you so much for taking the time to sit with me as I discuss my progress and share with an original tale. If you feel so inclined, please send me replies! I would love to read any feedback you have, á la what you would like to see or how you are enjoying any of these stories. I’m also interested in any ideas you have for a better title for this publication. I feel that “The Editorial” simply does not cut it, but I am at a loss for anything better at the moment. Also, if you are on the butterfly app, come follow me! You can find me on Bluesky here.

Acknowledgements

• Overall design by L V N A C Y

• “The Groundskeeper” background image by Chris Anderson on Unsplash