Backstage at the Calamity, Vol. I No. I: Introducing the Groundskeeper

Table of Contents

• What the F*CK did I Work On This Week?

  • The Warlock Queen

  • Kharon Khronicles

• A Bit of Flash: The Groundskeeper

• What’s Published and Where You Can Find It

  • Odds ‘n’ Endings Stories

What the F*CK did I Work On This Week?

The Warlock Queen

Currently, the Warlock Queen spans eight chapters. This week, I added a prologue, and progressed through reviewing and editing chapters 2, 3, 5, and have begun editing chapter 7. Sometimes characters have it a little too easy, and there needs to be balance between what happens to them, and what they do to others. This week’s edits build around this.

Kharon Khronicles

Once upon a time, I started working on a book and short story serial centered around the Greek pantheon. This week, I ported all of that content from another notes app into my current workflow. The serial requires a work over. Once the work over is completed, the serial will be released on a website that also needs to be built. So, this is coming closer to seeing the light of day, but still a ways off. If you’re a fan of Greek mythology and all its numerous incarnations over the millennia, subscribe and stay tuned.

A Bit of Flash: The Groundskeeper

Entry level job, they said. This is simple work, they said. Yet they offered me eighty dollars an hour and asked me if it would be enough. Fuckin’ eighty dollars an hour?

I never signed so fast.

Minimal paperwork. No background check. They just handed me the keys and a checklist, said “good luck, kid,” and walked out of the office. I reviewed the checklist as I made my way to the parking lot.

• The gates remain locked during the entirety of your shift.

• Sweep and dust the mausoleum.

• Clear flowers from the graves. Place all organic matter in the compost, plastic in recycling, everything else in the trash. Do not repurpose bouquets, no matter their condition.

• Investigate flickering lamps, but make no attempts at replacement or repairs.

• Trespassers are to be shot on sight; the shotgun is locked in the mausoleum.

• All residents are to remain in their graves or tombs at all times.

• The green mist is not your problem. Leave it alone.

• If you think you saw it, yes you did. Officially, no you didn’t. Do something about it, but do not write it up.

Not the usual checklist HR has handed me at prior jobs, but becoming a groundskeeper for a cemetery isn’t exactly usual. The people drafting this probably shared a fair amount of laughs. I peruse the rest of the paperwork. Everything else appears in order, though one thing sticks out clearly, as it’s repeated throughout the handbook: therapy is fully covered by my benefits—which begin on day one—and I am encouraged to make use of it regularly.

They really hammer home this point. That’s perfect. Been meaning to get on the ball with therapy.

I feel pretty great about this gig. This should prove to be easy, and I can make a fuck ton of money at it. Nice.

To Be Continued …

What’s Published and Where You Can Find It

These are the top stories currently in circulation.

Odds ‘n’ Endings Stories

These stories share a single connective thread through them all: the Odds ‘n’ Endings Boutique. The Proprietor—a timeless individual of many faces, few scruples, and a whole lot of character—deals in artifacts, each containing peculiar traits. These are the stories of the Boutique’s patrons.